


Try For Your Love

by girlinthevortex



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlinthevortex/pseuds/girlinthevortex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Kurt planning the couple's accommodation at NYU, Blaine decides to come clean about his feelings on their college choice. He soon realises his mistake and tries to make up for it with a song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try For Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on ff-net in July 2011.
> 
> I was listening to my iPod whilst trying to sleep when Try by Asher Book (taken from the 2009 Fame film) came on. I've always found it emotional but I suddenly imagined Blaine singing it to Kurt and I started crying. It was enough to get me thinking of a story for it and so this is the result. Whilst I've dabbled with writing fanfic before, it's been quite a while since I wrote anything so I'm a little rusty. I'm not completely satisfied with the first two parts and I'm sure in better hands it could be vastly improved but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

It all started innocently enough at the Lima Bean one afternoon after school. Kurt and Blaine were sat at their usual table (and how great it was to have a table that was ‘theirs’) discussing their plans for the coming weekend over coffee and the occasional stroking of each other’s knees.

“I was going to do some research into the halls of residence at NYU actually. Try to decide what would be best for us, you know?” said Kurt with the excitement of room-planning in his sparkling blue eyes. It was the couple’s last year of high school and Kurt wanted to be as prepared as possible for college life together.

For a split second worry spread itself over the features of Blaine’s face, before he quickly tried to feign there being nothing wrong. “Oh right. That’ll keep you busy for a while then.”

Kurt however had picked up on the flash of uncertainty in Blaine’s body language. “Well, not too long. I mean there’s always the option of us getting an apartment if that’s what you’d prefer. I’d have to save up a lot more but if you’d rather a place of our own away from others...”

“It’s not that, it’s just-” Blaine broke off, a small sigh escaping his lips. “I just think it’s a little early to start planning things like where we’re going to live when we don’t even know if we’ll get in yet.”

“Don’t be silly, of course we’ll get in. Well, you’ll definitely get in thanks to your time at Dalton. I however am less of a certainty but I’ll be damned if I don’t make the grade.” Kurt wasn’t completely satisfied with Blaine’s response but carried on regardless. “And anyway, there’s so much to think about that if we don’t start soon then we’ll end up out of our depths.”

Blaine thought to himself that he was already getting out of his depth when it came to college with Kurt, but he didn’t want to reveal that just yet. Not right now in the middle of a coffee house. “Aside from college prep then, do you want to go shopping on Saturday? Maybe see a film after?”

If there was one thing Kurt loved more than planning their future, it was shopping and so he instantly forgot his doubts about Blaine’s excitement of going to NYU together. “Me turn down an offer to dress my man in new outfits and hold hands at the back of a darkened theatre? As if I could do such a thing” he remarked, gleaming.

The young couple continued to talk about their date for the weekend, sharing smiles and brushing fingers.

* * *

A few weeks later Blaine was at Kurt’s house where the two were busy studying for the exams they had coming up. That’s to say they were originally busy studying until the thrill of being together in Kurt’s bedroom got too much, and so they were currently lying side by side on the bed, limbs entangled and lips finding each other’s repeatedly.

“As glorious as this, I think it’s for the best we get back to work” sighed Kurt, pulling away from Blaine who was presently kissing his jaw.

“But this is work” pouted Blaine, trying to reattach his lips to his boyfriend’s soft skin. “Very important work. Now shush” he commented, seeking and capturing Kurt’s lips.

“Mmm, seriously Blaine. One hour more studying and then we can get back to the making out. Now be a darling and pass me my history textbook from my desk, will you?”

Blaine begrudgingly got up from the bed and walked over to the opposite side of the room to Kurt’s desk. He went to pick up the textbook in question but his fingers also caught onto several pieces of paper, which fell to the ground and spread themselves out across the floor.

“Shoot” Blaine remarked, bending down to collect up the stray pieces of paper. His eyes noticed the words  _“Welcome to Founders Hall, NYU’s newest residence hall”_  on the top of one the sheets, and upon glancing at the others he saw similar greetings for other dorms and plenty of maps and photos. “Hey, what’s all this?”

Kurt looked over to the pages his boyfriend was holding up. “Oh, you remember I said I was going to look at accommodation for NYU? Well that’s it. Why?” he enquired, seeing Blaine slightly unenthusiastic about his answer.

“There’s a lot of printouts here Kurt. I didn’t think you were that serious about it” Blaine responded, still standing at the end of Kurt’s bed.

“Well I did say there’s a lot for us to do. There’s just so much for us to think about, and I thought if I did as much research as I could now it would make things easier for us closer to the time.”

“And where do I fit into this? Were you going to make all the decisions yourself and not ask for my opinion?” asked Blaine, his voice and his reddening face showing his annoyance.

Kurt couldn’t believe Blaine was getting so worked up about the situation. “Of course I was going to ask you. I might like to plan things but that doesn’t mean I’m going to completely leave you out. I’m not that self-obsessed. What’s the big deal anyway?” he demanded angrily, getting up from his position on his bed.

“The deal is that whilst you’re busy scripting our future, you’ve not even asked me if I definitely want to go to NYU in the first place” countered Blaine.

“But before I went to New York for nationals you said you were up for us going to New York” Kurt said, not understanding his boyfriend’s comments now. “What’s changed?”

“Nothing’s changed” Blaine answered back, his voice returning to its normal tone and him moving over to Kurt to take his hands. “I still want us to go there. Just maybe not so soon. Not for college.”

“Why not?” Kurt asked, his heart starting to break at the thought of them not moving to the city for college next fall.

Blaine decided it was time to come clean about his feelings on the matter. “It’s my parents. All my life they’ve planned out my going to college. They want me to go to Harvard like my father did. They’d be so disappointed in me if I didn’t. So that’s why I was thinking that after I’ve graduated I’ll go join you in New York. You’ll wait for me, right?” Blaine hoped beyond anything that Kurt would understand the situation.

“But Blaine, didn’t you think it might have been good to tell me all this before now? Before I had imagined us there, sharing a dorm room and walking to classes together, so many times that it almost seems real to me.” Kurt’s eyes started to turn misty, tears threatening to fall.

“Oh Kurt, I’m so sorry. I love you, you know that, but I don’t think I can let my parents down about this. It’s alright for you. Your dad and Carole are happy for you to go to any college you like, but my parents have such stricter views on my education. It’s only for a few years, and then we’ve got the rest of our lives to be in New York.”

“If we get through those years apart” Kurt exhaled. “What if we don’t? You might meet someone else. I don’t want us to be so far from each other for that long. Are you sure you can’t make your parents see differently? Or can’t you just ignore them anyway? You do have a right to choose where you go to college too, remember.”

“I really don’t think I can” Blaine said despondingly.

“So that’s it. I can’t change your mind? You’re not coming with me?”

“I... probably not.”

Kurt pulled his hands away from Blaine’s grip and looked to the floor, afraid that if he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes he’d break down. The two boys stayed where they were for a few moments, each taking in what had just happened.

“I think I should leave” muttered Blaine, hating how the evening had turned from passion to sadness.

“I think you should too.”

Kurt remained in the same spot, eyes not looking up until Blaine had packed his school bag and left his room. Then he threw himself onto his bed and allowed himself to mourn the death of one of his dreams, his silent sobs being absorbed by his pillow.

* * *

Blaine sat alone in his bedroom staring at his computer screen. He’d been checking his emails when he reached one sent from Harvard University with the subject  _“Thinking of applying to Harvard? Here’s everything you need to know”_. He groaned and threw his head back with a heavy sigh. It was three days after he and Kurt had disagreed about their college plans, and the pair hadn’t spoken much since. They’d been civil enough when in the same classes together or in glee club but it was safe to say their relationship had hit a wall and it was driving Blaine insane. All he could think about was the look on Kurt’s face when he admitted he wouldn’t be joining him at NYU and how much it hurt. He’d been wary of messing up things between the two before they had started dating, and now he had done just that. An email from the offending college was definitely not what he needed right now.

Blaine turned away from his computer and walked over to his dresser, the top of which was covered in the physical embodiments of his and Kurt’s time together so far – a foam hand from sectionals, the Lima Bean paper cup Kurt had been drinking out of when he told him he loved him for the first time (Kurt had kept Blaine’s cup too), and of course plenty of photos of the couple. He walked over to the dresser and ran his index finger over his boyfriend’s face in the most recent photograph, missing the sensation of actually stroking the soft skin.

It was in that moment that Blaine realised that he couldn’t let this beautiful, talented, caring young man that he got to call his boyfriend slip away from him. Yes his parents would probably disown him (or at least be extremely disappointed), and yes he was terrified of speaking to them about it, but if there was one reason for him to be brave and stand up to them for a change then it was for being in love with – and in turn loved by – Kurt. There was something he needed to do first before the confrontation with his parents though, and that was tell Kurt he was willing to go to New York with him.

Crossing his room to pick up his cell, Blaine sent a text to Mercedes.

_I’ve been an idiot. Need to seriously make things up to Kurt. Will you help? – B_

_Being an idiot doesn’t quite cover it boy. What do you want me to do? – M_

* * *

“Why are we going to the auditorium?” asked Kurt, his question directed to his best friend who had linked arms with him.

“Just something I’ve got to do before we head home” Mercedes replied. “It’ll only take a few minutes.”

The pair opened the auditorium doors and walked through the large empty room towards the stage. They had climbed up to it from the right-hand side and were crossing over to the piano on the opposite side when a figure stepped out from the shadows.

“Oh. Hi” Kurt said slowly, stopping dead in his tracks.

“Hi” Blaine responded nervously. “Thanks for bringing him here Mercedes. I really appreciate your help”

“No worries. Just don’t screw this up again. And you,” Mercedes spoke to Kurt, “you stay here and listen to him. If I can forgive him then so can you.”

The boys stood in silence for a moment whilst Mercedes left the hall. When they were alone Blaine took a big breath to steady his nerves and began explaining why they were there.

“To put it mildly, these past few days have been hell for me. Us not speaking to each other properly has been killing me and so it’s helped put things into perspective. There’s so much I want to say but I’m not sure the words will come out right, so I’ve decided to sing and play the words instead. Just indulge me with this.”

Blaine walked over to the piano and sat himself down at it. He flexed his fingers and began playing the introduction to the song that he’d come across whilst he was searching for the perfect way to apologise to Kurt.

_“If I walk, would you run?_   
_If I stop, would you come?_   
_If I say you're the one, would you believe me?_   
_If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?_   
_Tell me what to say so you don't leave me_   
  
_The world is catching up to you_   
_While you're running away to chase your dream_   
_It's time for us to make a move ‘cause we are asking one another to change_   
_And maybe I’m not ready_   
  
_But I'll try for your love_   
_I can hide up above_   
_I will try for your love_ _  
__We've been hiding enough”_

Kurt couldn’t deny the lurch in his heart and how much he wanted to hold Blaine, but rather than interrupting the song he walked slowly over to the piano, his boyfriend glancing up to look at him before continuing. _  
  
_ _“If I sing you a song, would you sing along?_ _  
_ _Or wait till I’m gone, oh how we push and pull_ _  
_ _If I give you my heart would you just play the part_ _  
_ _Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful_ _  
_  
 _Am I catching up to you?  
_ _While you’re running away to chase your dreams_ _  
_ _It's time for us to face the truth ‘cause we are coming to each other to change_ _  
_ _And maybe I’m not ready_ _  
  
_ _But I'll try for your love_ _  
_ _I can hide up above_ _  
_ _I will try for your love_ _  
_ _We've been hiding enough_ _  
  
_ _I will try for your love_ _  
_ _I can hide up above”_

Blaine reached the brief lyric break and turned to face towards Kurt, noticing the tears escaping from his boyfriend’s eyes. He smiled and sang the last few lines of the song whilst looking directly at him. _  
  
_ _“If I walk would you run?_ _  
_ _If I stop would you come?_ _  
_ _If I say you're the one would you believe me?”_

Blaine swung his legs from under the piano and shifted his body so he was sat facing Kurt, who was now standing right next to him.

“Blaine, that was-” Kurt was broken off by Blaine taking his hands into his own.

“Shh, let me get all this out. I’ve been thinking about what you said about us going to college, and I’ve realised how stupid I was. I love you so much Kurt, and for me to throw it all away just to keep my parents happy would be the biggest regret of my life. I’m not going to deny how afraid I am of telling them but I’m not prepared to lose you over this. You  _are_  the one for me and I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you.”

“Oh Blaine” sighed Kurt, pulling his boyfriend up so that they were standing flush against each other. “You’re the one too. I love you.”

The two boys pulled each other closer and shared a slow kiss full of emotion, their tears combining on their cheeks. They might still be young but they knew that this was how they were meant to be, and going to New York for college would just be the start of their lives together there.


End file.
